“Everything they don’t know about me is everything I don’t know about them” has been one of my golden rules for staying at peace and letting things be without assuming; in dating and in life. Judging is easy, especially people you don’t know, but we always judge from our own experience, our modus operandi, what we’ve seen and lived. And nobody, nobody, has the same life experience as you. Not the circumstances, not the emotional path, not the way they receive things. Even if the rain falls on all of us the same, each person feels the drops differently on their skin.
Connections keep coming up for me because who we surround ourselves with reflects what we allow inside. The easiest way to feel freer is to be around people who already are, and to stop judging them. What you judge, you push away, usually because you won’t let that part live in yourself. A free person beside you either invites you to loosen up or points out where you’re still tight. It can land as a trigger or as an invitation; you get to decide what you do with it.
October in Austin always feels like a movie. This felt like one of those weekends that stretch time; a blur of music, movement, and my favorite people. All three of my best friends were back in town for the first time since May, and we made up for lost time fast. Starting with dinner on Thursday that somehow turned into dancing at 2 AM, red-themed parties, and spontaneous afters that made the nights feel endless. By Sunday, we were at ACL, and Polo & Pan and the John Summit afters rewired our brains. The energy, the music, the people. It all reminded me what it feels like to be fully in it. I’m a little destroyed now, but in that sweet way that only comes after living hard and loving every second.
I think music is one of the ways we can measure growth. Not in a straight line, but in the way our tastes shift as we do. I lived so many years without house music, without knowing what it could do for me. And then one small yes changed everything. So now I try to say yes more. To music, to new artists, to experiences I don’t fully understand yet. Because you never know, the thing you say yes to might be the thing that makes you come alive.
I’m about to start a huge travel month and I want to write the whole thing down. I love travel writing because everyone travels in their own way. It opens my head to new rhythms; food rituals, the things that make a city unique, the smells that stick with you. I want the aesthetic shots, but also the awkward layovers, the small inconveniences that end up in good stories. I’ll write what I taste, what I see, and what gets woken in me.
Food is my travel compass. Oaxaca is always a yes, my favorite place to eat in Mexico. I’m heading to one of my childhood best friends’ weddings; she’s marrying her college sweetheart. They met as freshmen at USC, and eight years later we’re a week away from celebrating their love. Four of my childhood friends are getting married this year and next, and somehow those weddings pulled our scattered group back together. Bachelorette trips and planning the weekend have been like a magnet, and I’m so grateful. I can’t wait to squeeze everyone.
The following weekend is another wedding in my hometown, so I’ll spend the week with my parents in Monterrey. They’ve become my best friends as I’ve grown, and we cram so much into the time we have. I’m holding my routine steady but loosening my grip. Travel helps me flow and brings out the bright side of me. Sometimes stepping away from the constant “work” on yourself is where the real change happens.
Caring for our vehicle in this life feels both challenging and, quietly, a pleasure. Lately I think of self-care as a playlist and a packed suitcase at once: the daily habits are the repeated tracks that build the rhythm for whatever city or song shows up next.
Inner work can also be fun. The tumble of waves is rough for a bit, but you know you’re going to surface breathing deeper and walking more steadily. Uncertainty is part of it, it makes us work on faith and tame the mind. It forces us to walk blind with a little fear. Then it comes back and kisses our forehead for not quitting when we wanted to throw it all away.
The last few weeks I’ve been surfing mood whiplash with no hands. I’ve felt very happy and very sad at once, sometimes in the same breath. I’m noticing how often we script stories about how things should go or how someone should feel. My reminder: forcing an outcome or expecting a script creates emotional turmoil. Releasing attachment to any outcome is the peace. I’ve caught myself in the loop, but lately, instead of chasing short-term comfort, I’m choosing to sit with the discomfort and protect myself long term. It hasn’t been easy, but it feels like real growth. Maybe this is what people mean by not starting from zero but from experience. Every version of me taught me something. I finally feel like I have the tools, and I’m actually using them.
This morning I took the time to plan all the areas of my life for the next ten years. It sounds exaggerated but I did it in my twenties and everything is coming true. I’ve also changed since then, so I’m refreshing now. Faith shouldn’t be wasted. Today I have a lot of faith and these days are for honoring, developing, and asking for answers and gifts.
If you made it to the end, I’m grateful for you. Soon: food on the table and mezcal notes to follow.
with love, Andrea